Spoken Intro:
Oh Ben, gee, I think you're really cute and sexy, and, well, I know you're straight, and, like I know you have a, girlfriend, but, if you really wanna give me a blowjob, I guess I'll let you, as long as you respect me in the morning. Suck it baby! Oh yeah, suck it real good! And remember, queers don't produce, they seduce. And well, everybody's a fag, the whole goddamn world's a fag - don't you realize it even yet? And umm, wow, are you sure this is your first rim job? You're catchin' on real fast girlfriend. Oh! Oh Ben, it feels so right - won't you be my homosexual husband?
I got a little lisp
And I've been workin' on my limp wrist
See women are a drag
I think I wanna be a faggot now
A mincing ninny, prancing fairy, merry little queen
A Bruce LaBruce wet dream, a nancy boy with wings
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be...
Shock the middle class
Take it up your punk rock ass
You rub your little thing
When you see phony dykes in Penthouse magazine
So what's the difference?, Mr. Cream Rinse, you just need a man
A beefy leather fag, to take you out in drag, oh yeah
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be...
Call me a faggot, call me a butt-lovin', fudge packin' queer
I don't care, 'cause it's the straight in straight-edge
That makes me wanna drink a beer and be a pansy, and be a homo
Shock the middle class
Take it up your punk rock ass
You rub your puny thing
When you see studs in tight jeans pass you on the street
Who wears short shorts?, you wear short shorts, you're so full of shit
Why don't you admit you don't have to balls to be a queer?
I wanna be, I wanna be homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be a homosexual
This song was inspired by an equally funny song by Sloppy Seconds called "I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual," as Ben states in the Kill the Musician liner notes. I decided to throw in a link to the lyrics for that song since it's so hilarious and slightly relevant.